That damn horse keeps bucking me off! Getting back on again...

Once again, I fell off the wagon with posting; but I think that’s because I didn’t think I had anything to say… I have been in a sort of post-graduation depression, if that’s a real thing. I didn’t get a job in my field right away, and still haven’t, and even though I didn’t expect that, I still hoped for it. I felt like kind of a loser, actually, because I couldn’t even find a part time job in any field until last week.


So, I tried MN, and it didn’t work out. I was there almost 2 months and couldn’t even get a serving or retail job, and I applied for around 15 of those plus about 10 museum jobs. So, I packed up what I could take in my car and came back to Kalamazoo for the last couple weeks of our lease. Now, Mark & I are living with his parents in West Bloomfield as a “transitional thing” as Mark’s mom says to her friends.

I got a job at Hiller’s Markets, a specialty grocery store up the road from the neighborhood we are living in, working in the deli. I get about 30 hours per week, and I get my first paycheck this Friday, which I’m pretty excited for! I get paid every week, which is nice. I also started a babysitting job this week; I’m watching a beautiful 10-week old angel named Elena one or two days a week. She’s a wonderful baby & I love it! I just wish I could watch her more often. I also picked up a band camp instructor job the first week of August in Clarkston, MI, with my KKY brother Annie. That’ll be fun, and it pays nicely too, which isn’t very common anymore with all the music funding and programs being cut.

So, living with Mark’s parents; I miss my friends and family. VERY much. It’s tough on us because we’ve been used to having our own private space, but it’s a challenge that we’re facing together. The benefits of living rent-free still outweigh the issues and adjustments. I’m trying to work and save as much as possible so that we can get our own place. We have an opportunity that has presented itself in Holland that we’re excited about, and it’s almost a sure thing that it’ll work; I’m looking for and have applied for jobs in Holland, Grand Rapids, Muskegon, South Haven, and everywhere in between.

I thought for a long time that I never wanted to live in Holland again; it felt too small, too familiar, and I wanted to be somewhere else. Now, I have lived in Kalamazoo, MI – which was awful – and White Bear Lake, MN – which was pretty, but looked just like MI and had no jobs – and now West Bloomfield, MI – which is just weird, a strange combo of the neighborhood and city, lots of towns slammed up against each other – and I’m thinking now, Holland isn’t so bad. I mostly want to be near my family. I know it isn’t normal for a family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) to all be in the same area and be so involved in each other’s’ lives, but I think we really have something special. I know I can travel and see new places, but I don’t want to miss my cousins growing up, or their kids, for that matter. I have always appreciated how unique my family is, and now I do even more. I can’t imagine only seeing them a few times a year.

So, I’m still in that “transitional thing,” but I’m working through it with a goal in sight.

I’ve started the South Beach Diet, and I feel more confident about this than I have with anything else I’ve tried. I’ve been eating better (as far as I knew) and exercising since I finished school, and I haven’t really lost weight, but I’ve capped it so I haven’t gained any more. I’m currently dancing around 195 pounds, and my goal is to lose 65 pounds and get down to 130 pounds. SB changes how I affect my body’s blood sugar through food combinations, and in understanding how food affects me on a chemical level is really helpful. So, I’m only on day 2, but I’m feeling different and I’m hoping that the 8-13 pounds I’m supposed to lose during the strict phase 1 (first 2 weeks) really does come off, because that will be the jump start I need to keep my motivation through phase 2 (which goes until I get down to my goal weight). I’ve been really inspired by my mom, who has been on a program that has helped her lose 56 pounds! Her goal is to lose 90 pounds, so she is almost 2/3 of the way there. I’m so proud of her and I keep picturing us both lean and smiling ear to ear, so I hope that becomes a reality for both of us.

So, for now, I’m changing how I eat, and trying to change how I look at myself. I’m incredibly comparative and I feel physically inferior to every thin girl I see. I’m trying to change that. I don’t know how long it’s going to take, but I think a combination of positive thinking and weight loss will really help me. I’ve always had low self-esteem but have shown confidence, so no one really knew how much I disliked my appearance; in the past year, the shield of confidence has been broken away by my life trials, and I’ve become very depressed with how I look. Mark has felt it, and he gave me quite a wake-up call recently. He actually said I was an unhappy person, and while I don’t think that’s entirely true, as far as comparing myself to other women and having such a terrible outlook on my appearance and weight, I understand where he is coming from. So I’m trying to really not care what other people think, but more importantly, not care what other people look like and how I think I look next to them. I need to be happy with myself and really look for the positives… but I’ve tried looking in the mirror and finding 5 beautiful things about myself many times over the past few years, and I usually can’t get past 1 or 2.

Time for my mid-morning snack and then a shower before my 1:30-10pm shift at the deli. I might be babysitting tomorrow, I’m not sure, but I don’t have to work at the deli, so it’s a day off as of right now. But if I get to babysit, that would be great too – the parents pay well and are really nice people, and the baby is such a joy.

Ciao-

Em

Movie Suggestion: “The Green Hornet” (2011) – Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz. Following the death of his father, Britt Reid, heir to his father's large company, teams up with his late dad's assistant Kato to become a masked crime fighting team. (from IMDB) I loved this – very funny, lots of great action, gadgets, and a strong storyline. Seth co-wrote it, and you can tell because his humor and drama both come through. Great movie for family, friends, and couples!



Music Suggestion: Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson's This Is It (or simply This Is It) (2009). This is a posthumous two-disc soundtrack album by American recording artist Michael Jackson, released by Epic Records and featuring previously released music, as well as six previously unreleased recordings. (from Wiki) The CD has a great classic Michael feel – beautiful ballads, pop tracks, some nice appearances by current artists, and a big hit, “This Is It.” I love this album, and I really suggest listening to it, because there’s something for pretty much anyone!

Photo update:

Mark & I, June 2011.

Drake enjoying the backyard during a visit to Mark's parents' house.

My girls <3

Robin, Mariah & I - Big Brothers Big Sisters

Mark & I enjoying the Westacres beach.

Fourth of July - fireworks at the beach.

Mark's 26th birthday - I made him cherry chocolate cheesecake!

Westacres beach at sundown.

Mom on her birthday - down over 50 pounds!

Watching our favorite show, Top Gear. :)

Getting back on the horse.

Well hey there all!

It's been a minute! My last semester was CRAZY, so I didn't get a chance to post. This one will be semi-short (text-light), but a longer one (and more after that) will be coming starting next week.

Today I am finishing packing for Minnesota. I'm moving out there to live with Mark & I's dear friends Jake and Nick, two brothers who have been friends with Mark since he was a little boy. I'm going in a sort of mini caravan with Jake & Nick's parents, Ed & Lynn; they have a big truck & are hooking their enclosed trailer up to it to haul my stuff out, since they are going out to visit the boys & they have to come right through Kalamazoo anyway. It's like a free U-Haul! :) Mark has a few summer classes to finish up before he heads out there in July, but since I was only working one day a week at Hot Topic and I've applied for a few jobs out there, I felt it was time to head out & get a job, and get settled in. I can't get too settled because we're painting when Mark gets out, but I'm excited to be in a new space and to see new things. We're moving to White Bear Lake, MN, which is 17 minutes outside of Minneapolis and 25 minutes from St. Paul. It's an amazing opportunity that Jake has presented to us, and we can't pass it up!
I've said goodbye to my family and most of my friends, and strangely I didn't cry once. It's not that I won't miss everyone - I'll miss them terribly - I think I'm just really ready to do this. I think my heart and spirit have been cooped up in gross Kalamazoo far too long - in West Michigan, as much as I love it, for too long - and I'm ready for BIG changes.

So, I'm taking a break from packing & cleaning, and burning some CD's for my 10+ hour drive tomorrow while Mark is playing with his fish tank. :)

Well... A LOT has happened since my last post on September 30, 2010!

Mark & I were engaged at the time of my last post, but my engagement ring (which was apparently "too delecate" for me, as the jewelry store guy put it) broke 3 times, so I got a new one, and now I have a beautiful ring set. Here's the new one!

The new ring - I love it!

We both like it better than the other one, and it has held up beautifully to my (apparent) abuse.

What else...? Well, to be honest 2011 hasn't been great for us. There have been a lot of losses - a friend of Mark's from the car clubs, another friend's brother (crushed by a car he was working on), and the most difficult for us, Rosco, our ferret. She & Ellie are together now.



Ellie on top, Rosco on bottom.

Mark's car keeps having problems, I lost my job at the pizza place & haven't been able to get back on my feet financially, and school was a nightmare for both of us... But, I graduated!!

April 30, 2011

I had my last spring break of my undergrad & went to Frankenmuth for my 24th birthday with Mark & his parents. I also went to a Pistons game to celebrate my birthday and my cousin Liz's 23rd birthday, the day after mine, with my family. That was the first week of March.

Th weather has been CRAZY, which has caused some problems for us. Our apartment is so janky... The heat turns on but wouldn't turn off, and our AC is old & eats up SO much energy to even start cooling one room, so with the outside temp fluctuating, so we've been super hot or super cold all year. And, the winter storms and rain have ripped down trees & power lines... And our apt complex STILL hasn't cleared the down trees from February.

These are those same down trees today:

3 months later.

We've also had thunderstorms and hail storms.

That was a fun day - rain, hail & sunshine, simultaneously. Realllllly creepy.

At the end of March, I represented my chapter of Kappa Kappa Psi as our delegate to District Convention in Merrillville, IN. It was an incredible weekend, and combined with my being active again this semester & really getting back into KPsi, I was re-awakened as a brother & solidified some friendships into concrete.



Stephie & Lo - my team.

These last few months have shown me who my real friends & family are... These two are very special to me!

April was the final push toward graduation. It was a very tough month. I worked at a serving job that was awful - the worst job I've ever had - because the manager was just terrible. He was verbally abusive, and I didn't make any money because he had preference with other servers so I got screwed out of tables every shift. I quit, even though I didn't have anything else lined up, and chose to spend my time with the people I love before moving.

So, I've graduated, and I'm off to a new adventure. I'll be posting more often now, especially since this will be a great way to keep my family and friends posted on what's going on. I like this more than FB for the more personalized feel. So, keep up with me, and wish me luck! The next 2 months will be tough without Mark & the babies - Drake & Isis - but I know it's the best for us right now & it'll go by super fast.

Emily


Movie Suggestion: "Toy Story 3" (2010, voices of Tim Allen & Tom Hanks) - We finally saw this, & it's every bit as good as the first two films. It's a fresh story, very funny, and ties the story of Woody, Buzz & Andy together in a way that give closure but doesn't disappoint. We watched a documentary called "The Pixar Story" right before it, so we have an even bigger appreciation for the Disney-Pixar combo now.

Music Suggestion: A Fine Frenzy, "Bomb in a Birdcage" (2009) & "One Cell in the Sea" (2007) - She is just phenomenal. If you're looking for great tracks for summer drives, beach trips, cookouts, cleaning, painting, relaxing, or anything that your enjoy.... She's wonderful. Some pop-y upbeat tracks, but mostly just really solid & interesting lyrics over beautiful melodies.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

FINALLY,  I'm seeing my graduation day in near view. I picked up my audit today and turned it in to the registrar. I'm graduating Spring 2011! I'm so stoked - I've felt many times that this point would never come. A domino effect of fantastic proportion will follow... Graduation, wedding, moving, then grad school! I couldn't be any more ready for a new place, a fresh start. Mark & I are both SO SICK OF KALAMAZOO, SO sick of WMU, and SO ready to breath new air.

So, updates! well, for one thing, my Zombie Brain turned out well! Photos!



In other news, I stripped my hair out & dyed it back to (pretty close to) my natural color. It's still got a few slightly funky highlights in it - like my bangs are lighter than the rest since they were bleached to take the red from before - but for the most part it's pretty good. My dyeing adventure!



So, school is stressing me out like no other.... Lots of pressure with such big decisions ahead about grad school. I feel like whenever I get to the point where I've mde a pretty firm decision, something comes up & I get shoved back to square one. The problem right now is that I was intending to get my masters in history, work for a while, then go on for my Ph. D. later. Most of the programs I really like, however, don't offer MA only - you have to go on to the Ph. D. too. So, I think I'm going to bite the bullet and just get both out the way. I'll volunteer or work at a museum while I am getting my degrees so that I have some work experience when I exit school and enter the public history field (preferably in the museum setting).

Well, tonight is the end of my hell week. I'm watching Prisoner of Azkaban (Sirius & Lupin are SO delicious) currently, and soon I'm going to clean the hell out of this crappy little apartment so it's somewhat livable and do something crafty... My hands are yearning to create something!

OK - time to RELAX and do whatever I want to do!!!

Emily

Movie Suggestion: "Wes Craven's New Nightmare" (1994), Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund) - Kind of a mind-bender, Craven brings us back to the cast of "Nightmare on Elm Street" but in a new way that's kind of boggling, but still beautifully gory and horror-silly. Freddy is back & a demon has erupted within his persona, terrorizing the cast of "Nightmare on Elm Street." Lots of fun!

Music Suggestion: Drake, "Thank Me Later" (2010) - I'm a big Drake fan, and ever since I picked this album up in June, I've had it in my car listened to it at least a few times a week, if not more. He's clever, honest, and charming, and his beats are addictive. Drake sings & raps, and has some great artists on the CD with him, such as Alicia Keys ("Fireworks"), Nicki Minaj ("Up All Night"), Jay-Z ("Light Up"), TI ("Fancy" - my favorite track!), Young Jeezy ("Unforgettable") and of course, his Cash Money/Young Money captain, Lil Wayne ("Miss Me"). Definitely worth a listen, even if you don't usually listen to hip-hop; it's lyrical, harmonious, and reflective.

emilymaudeapple on Etsy

Please check out my new Etsy store! Pass it along to anyone you think may be interested - I have free US shipping, and I also gift wrap for free. The holidays are coming up fast!

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Blog update coming soon.

XOXO Emily

Bling Bling Sucka

Because I want to show off a good picture of it.... Here's my engagement ring!

Whether you're high or low, gotta keep on the tightrope.

{Title - "Tightrope" Janelle Monae feat. Big Boi}


Evening all,


Well, it's been another eventful day. I got a lot accomplished though! I went to my classes, did dishes, went grocery shopping, and did some homework. Full fridge & cupboards, full of gratitude!

I'm settling down with a Hypnotiq & Simply Lemonade, which is divine. I've been loving on Hypnotiq a lot lately - it's vodka, cognac & fruit juices, & I tried it with Simply Lemonade tonight, but I've also had it with Malibu Mango rum & pineapple juice, and that's fantastic (1 part H, 1 part Malibu, 2 parts juice for even flavoring). I used to bartend, so I like experimenting with different liquors and flavor combinations. Not to the point of belligerent though, of course!

I also tried out my new Zombie Brain Gelatin Mold tonight! One of my best friends & bridesmaids, Sarah, is coming over for dinner tomorrow and I want to have a sweet dessert, so I'm making a green Jell-O brain, which I'm going to garnish with gummy worms. So cute!



My Brain Being Made!



There's Always Room For.... BRAINS!

So, my class schedule for this semester.... I'm taking Art History II (1200AD-Present) with Mark, which is kind of fun. It's our second class together and it's been pretty good so far, especially considering he despises art history. I have German I, and I'm surprised at how well I'm doing so far; we're moving really fast, but I think I'm doing pretty well staying on top of things. I have German every day Mon-Thurs, and I like that because I get daily reinforcement and frequent opportunity to ask questions. I'm also taking two of my four public history core classes (public history is my major), Historic Preservation (artifacts and architecture, history of, processes, issues, etc.) and Intro to Public History, which is a very broad survey of careers, issues, goals and tactics for bringing history into the public eye. Finally, I'm taking Practical Writing, which is a class about writing everything other than school papers; we're doing memos, resumes, interviews, and all kinds of writing that will pertain to our careers down the road. Good group of classes, not too bad of a homework load, especially with me not working as much..... In the spring I have to take German II, my fourth public history core course, Museum Studies, and a US history baccalaureate level writing, and I'll also be doing my 240 hour/6 credit internship. Then, I'm DONE with my B.A.!!!

Mark got the new Halo game, Halo: Reach, and he was very proud of himself that he was the only one in his classes who hadn't stayed up til 4 am the night it came out & in turn were zombies in classes all day the next day. He has only been playing when his work is done, and if I need him for anything he puts it down. This is really important to me, because in the past he's gotten a bit wrapped up in his gaming. I guess being on the cusp of graduating college & getting married makes a person grow up a bit! ;)

I recently re-"decorated" my living room, which consisted of basically a new couch cover, new table accents, & a good vaccuum job. I've always liked green & red - it's most likely a Christmas thing, since that's my favorite time of year besides Halloween - and I just needed to make our crappy-tiny-awful-no-good-very-bad-apartment look somewhat like a home.

I also managed to work in a few snuggles with Drake. He's been weird today - going in & out from the balcony, whining, sitting in the kitchen while I unpacked groceries (which he never does - he doesn't like sitting on tile because he slides & falls)... I thought he could use some love. He's asleep on the floor next to me now. I think he just wanted to be near me - we're gone a lot during the day with school.

Mark made my day today. I was driving to the grocery store from school, and noticed a piece of paper under my wiper. "Oh crap, a ticket!" was my initial reaction, but then I remembered I had a valid sticker & parked in the student structure, so that couldn't be it. This is what I found when I pulled over:




Adorable.

Then, I had a huge low when I was putting away groceries. I Chris Farley'd my kitchen step stool. Yes, it was tiny, yes, it was cheap, and yes, it was probably meant for children, but I still had to walk away silently, shut myself in the bathroom, & cry with a bleeding foot because my big ol' self just broke through a step stool while putting groceries in my pantry. Mark put down his game, cleaned up the shattered pieces - the thing literally EXPLODED under my colossal weight - and came into the bathroom to check my feet & make sure I wasn't hurt badly, and wipe away my tears. He said, "It was crappy & made in China. Not your fault!"


I think I'll be hitting the Rec Center tomorrow.  =(

Ok, well, I have a few more homework things to do before bedtime. Tomorrow is my early morning so I need to get some rest. Thanks to anyone who is keeping up with me. Have a great night,

Emily

Movie Suggestion: "Raw Deal" with Arnold Swarzeneggar (1986) - Arnold is an ex-FBI agent under witness protection who gets roped into infiltrating the Chicago Italian mob to avenge the killing of his former boss' son who was killed while undercover.

Music Suggestion: "The ArchAndroid" (album) by Janelle Monae (2010) - Soul, funk, r&b, hip-hop, rock - everything that could make you move your hips or wink at that sassy thing staring you down from across the bar.

A new day arrives, I wanna look in your eyes when the sun comes up.

{Title: "Sun Comes Up" by John Legend - preferably the live version}

Good morning! Guten tag!

Well, I'm up at 9am, and since I went to bed around midnight, I feel pretty good. I'm getting better about waking up and starting my day earlier because I can get more done & my day feels more accomplished. I have a few classes today, but no work today. I just stepped down from manager to associate at a mall retail store to make more time for school, and I also wait tables at a chain restaurant. Neither of my jobs are where I want to be after school, but they help keep me afloat until I take my next steps.

I'm sure some new people will be reading this, so introductions are in order...

Hi! I'm Emily. I'm a senior at Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo, MI finishing up my undergraduate degree in public history and have already finished my minor in English. I will be graduating in the spring, and then next fall, I'm be starting graduate school in history. To be more specific, I am very interested in bringing some of the same attention given to individual survivor stories the past quarter century to the perpetrator side of WWII study, to pull back the “big scary German” mask and find the faces underneath. I would like to investigate, most basically, what kind of political, social, and individual climate conditions were present to bring neighbors, friends, countrymen and strangers to the point of killing one another for the causes of the Nazi regime, or perhaps other causes on differing levels. Everyday life history, personal documents, court documents, military records, and other primary sources are essential to my research.

I am recently engaged to my wonderful partner Mark. He has stood by me through incredibly hard times - we've been dirt poor, without transportation, without jobs, and cramped in a tiny apartment together - and I cannot imagine there's anything we can't handle in the future. Photos!

Here is a slideshow of our journey so far, by season.

Other than that, I'm just a young woman trying to make her way in this world. Mark and I are excited to graduate and move on in our journey together. I'm can't wait to get out of Kalamazoo - I need to see more of the world than West Michigan. My spirit is too wild to stay in one place.

Here are our babies....

Drake (Lab mix) & Isis (kitty)

Rosco (ferret) & Mommy

We also have a 20 gal fish tank (1 rosy cheeked angel, royal pleco & a bunch of danios) & a 50 gal fish tank (African cichlids & pleco). We love animals!

Instead of a dining room table...

Well, time to get rolling on the day. I've got classes & homework & laundry & dishes & . . . The list goes on. Oh yeah, grocery shopping too! Having food in the house is a good thing.

I also have to shout out my small business website, http://www.emilysheavenlyhandmades.webs.com/ where you can find tons of fantastic & one-of-a-kind jewelry sets, accessories, decor and more! Stop over and take a look. I have a small blog on there too relating to the business. If you get around to taking a look, please become a site member to support me! It's free!

More later today I'm sure - I miss this.

Emily